It is Friday again!!!! Another week of school without a solution or changes that can help my children do better academically. This week has been busy specially because my husband was traveling for work. Our children still have difficulty with separation but I have to say that this time the emotional outbursts were different and seemed to be less frequent. We have been following the suggestion of one of the therapist to give Elijah something special for my husband for him to take care of while dad is away. This time dad left his very special GI Joe. It really works. He would hold it in the afternoon when he got back from school and when he went to sleep. Somehow that helps him to remember that Dad is coming back.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
On my mind today
If you are a parent of a child or children (my case) with special needs I know that you feel my frustration. Some would say that I should not complain because probably in the sixties children with any special needs would be put in an institution or just not go to school. Now we have a whole infrastructure designed to help educate people with disabilities. But as it happens with many other programs our humanness gets in the way and children continuously fall through the cracks . My job (as I understand it) is to make sure that my children do not fall into the "cracks". This becomes a very complicated issue and a very time consuming job.
I remember when we first brought our children home, it made me angry to see where they had our kids in school. It seems to me that due to an over crowded foster care system and overwhelmed social workers children in Foster care are deeply miss represented specially in the school system. When a family then adopts children we have to spend hours and years playing "catch up". Not only academically speaking but medically as well. All that frustration brings me to today and what is going on with Emmanuel on his first year of Middle school. I spent countless hours working on my children's IEP (Individualized Education Plan) to assure that they had on paper all that would be needed to help them succeed in school. The problem is that following the IEP doesn't come "naturally" to most school districts.
Now three weeks into the school year and I have more questions than answers and I am mad. Not an unhealthy mad I suppose. But I am determined to make sure that my son has access to all accommodations necessary for him to be able to learn.
As it happens not all is negative and we continue to see him blossom in many areas. I am a proud mama as I watch him play football at one of our local leagues. There in the middle of the field , where all you can see is heads inside helmets and kids eager to play, he is just another boy having fun. He jumps of excitement , he claps and screams his team's name like the other boys. At that moment it doesn't matter if he can't read or if his speech is hard to understand...He is just one of the boys enjoying the aftertaste of a game well played.
I remember when we first brought our children home, it made me angry to see where they had our kids in school. It seems to me that due to an over crowded foster care system and overwhelmed social workers children in Foster care are deeply miss represented specially in the school system. When a family then adopts children we have to spend hours and years playing "catch up". Not only academically speaking but medically as well. All that frustration brings me to today and what is going on with Emmanuel on his first year of Middle school. I spent countless hours working on my children's IEP (Individualized Education Plan) to assure that they had on paper all that would be needed to help them succeed in school. The problem is that following the IEP doesn't come "naturally" to most school districts.
Now three weeks into the school year and I have more questions than answers and I am mad. Not an unhealthy mad I suppose. But I am determined to make sure that my son has access to all accommodations necessary for him to be able to learn.
As it happens not all is negative and we continue to see him blossom in many areas. I am a proud mama as I watch him play football at one of our local leagues. There in the middle of the field , where all you can see is heads inside helmets and kids eager to play, he is just another boy having fun. He jumps of excitement , he claps and screams his team's name like the other boys. At that moment it doesn't matter if he can't read or if his speech is hard to understand...He is just one of the boys enjoying the aftertaste of a game well played.
Friday, August 23, 2013
FIrst week back to school
I can't believe it but today is Friday! We all survived our 1st week back to school and the future is looking brighter. Last night Emmanuel had some problems doing his computer work. We are trying a new website: Sound Reading which has been created to help children with dyslexia. It is hard to see in the picture but Annie heard him escalating and jumped in the sofa when I said; "go to Manny". Once in the sofa she put her paw on top of Manny's arm. He accepted her gesture and immediately relaxed continuing with his work. It might sound simply but for those of us that have worked with Emmanuel for five years this is nothing short of a miracle.
Yesterday we also got to practice with Annie inside a school bus and she did very well following directions from our trainer without much guidance. It is amazing to see how dogs understand when they are working. You go Annie!
Working with the school district and the school as we train Annie on school specific things is at times difficult but I am trying to keep my cool and accept that having a service dog training in the school grounds is new to them. At the same time I feel that my job is to help them to stay focused on making sure that my son has what he needs to be successful at school.
I have heard many interviews on TV of parents that tried to bring a service dog to school and were not "approved". Our hard work training Annie and learning about Emmanuel's special needs has made a big difference in this process.
The weekend is upon us and I am glad I get to spend more time at home even if it is washing clothes , cleaning , watching the kids play football...I am sure I will find some time to relax a little...
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Manny and Annie
I know it has been way too long...where do I begin? How far back should I go? I will start with what is happening now. One story at the time will probably help you eventually to put all the pieces together.
For a couple of years I have been researching about service dogs; the pros and cons of having them, the cost, etc. I learned about what they can do , what kind of dogs work best, the different ways you can go about it and specially the cost. Until last year it seemed to be far away from our reach. I had no idea that things were already coming together to make it happen.
After church hopping for several months we started to attend one church more frequently and were invited to have dinner at someone's house. We had a lovely time and learned a lot about the other couples that night. One of them were owners of a K 9 , dog training company and we started to talk about service dogs. We decided to ask more questions. Of course by then my brain is working in all different directions searching the web for ways to do it, saving money and making it happen as quickly as possible . by then our son Emmanuel is having a lot of problems in school. He is still trying to read at a kindergarden level at age 11. We have tried therapy after therapy, testing, research , tutors, more tutors and still the same thing. Giving up is not an option.
Then before school was out and summer came I received a text from our babysitter who was taking her puppy to dog training school. She had heard about a lady with two one year labradoodles who needed a home. Their owner's husband was having heart problems and it was becoming difficult for her to care for him, their 5 acres , a horse and other dogs. We requested to meet the dogs and have the trainers from Southland dog training come to do a temperament test with both dogs. It was love at 1st site and after a couple of meetings they passed the test and now we had to decide which one we would get. All happened very quickly and soon Annie the girl was living with us. We worked out the cost with the owners and training started. Our dog Sparky had to be trained before Annie did so that he would not make things more difficult with his not so great behavior. That our journey into the world of giving Emmanuel a companion who would help him deal with things when we are not around. Our goal is that Annie will help Manny to find his way out of the memories of suffering past into a life full of possibilities. Learning to accept his disabilities and finding ways to have a "typical" life is no easy task for an adult much less for a child. As a parent I have to love him enough to continue to push him to break his own limits to become the man that God intended for him to be.
In our county that has never been a student with a service dog attending classes. Many have tried but have not been successful. I feel the weight of making sure this is done right so other families can have the privilege we are having to bring the 1st service dog into our county's schools. It is taking a lot of work, money and time but when I see Manny and Annie together during an episode of PTSD, I see her laying down over his legs even when he pushes her away I know that their relationship is getting stronger every day.
For a couple of years I have been researching about service dogs; the pros and cons of having them, the cost, etc. I learned about what they can do , what kind of dogs work best, the different ways you can go about it and specially the cost. Until last year it seemed to be far away from our reach. I had no idea that things were already coming together to make it happen.
After church hopping for several months we started to attend one church more frequently and were invited to have dinner at someone's house. We had a lovely time and learned a lot about the other couples that night. One of them were owners of a K 9 , dog training company and we started to talk about service dogs. We decided to ask more questions. Of course by then my brain is working in all different directions searching the web for ways to do it, saving money and making it happen as quickly as possible . by then our son Emmanuel is having a lot of problems in school. He is still trying to read at a kindergarden level at age 11. We have tried therapy after therapy, testing, research , tutors, more tutors and still the same thing. Giving up is not an option.
Then before school was out and summer came I received a text from our babysitter who was taking her puppy to dog training school. She had heard about a lady with two one year labradoodles who needed a home. Their owner's husband was having heart problems and it was becoming difficult for her to care for him, their 5 acres , a horse and other dogs. We requested to meet the dogs and have the trainers from Southland dog training come to do a temperament test with both dogs. It was love at 1st site and after a couple of meetings they passed the test and now we had to decide which one we would get. All happened very quickly and soon Annie the girl was living with us. We worked out the cost with the owners and training started. Our dog Sparky had to be trained before Annie did so that he would not make things more difficult with his not so great behavior. That our journey into the world of giving Emmanuel a companion who would help him deal with things when we are not around. Our goal is that Annie will help Manny to find his way out of the memories of suffering past into a life full of possibilities. Learning to accept his disabilities and finding ways to have a "typical" life is no easy task for an adult much less for a child. As a parent I have to love him enough to continue to push him to break his own limits to become the man that God intended for him to be.
In our county that has never been a student with a service dog attending classes. Many have tried but have not been successful. I feel the weight of making sure this is done right so other families can have the privilege we are having to bring the 1st service dog into our county's schools. It is taking a lot of work, money and time but when I see Manny and Annie together during an episode of PTSD, I see her laying down over his legs even when he pushes her away I know that their relationship is getting stronger every day.
Manny and Annie
We all walk life from small journey to journey , road to road hoping our contribution to the world will make a small impact in the lives of our loved ones. As time passes and our life here ends it is the hope that our life was more than what we did today. It is more about how intentional I am about what I do today and the affect it has in my "small" world after I am gone.
Dalel M
Dalel M
Monday, July 19, 2010
Summer nights!!!
Oh!!!Why is summer so long and HOT!!!!
I don't know about you,but summer seems to be busier and more difficult than when the kids actually go to school. There are camps, places they need to go, people they need to see. At our house we go from little to big; not driving yet to driving but don't have a car yet; we have it all. Well I shouldn't complain, we have air conditioners, cold water to drink and shopping malls.
Our family is moving along, the kids are liking summer camp, at least the little ones. Other than that we have the usual tween, teenage and post-teen; "'I wish I didn't have to do anything more than spend time with my friends, set up to meet my friends at the furthest mall from our house, no chores and no summer reading, food that cooks itself whenever I feel hungry, a magic "fill up itself" refrigerator and specially no taking a family mini vacation together which will totally mess up my plans with my friends....are you with me?! This I say knowing that my children are far better; loving; close to us and open with us than most teens.
Now totally changing the subject:
This week I am very frustrated with the system. Even after adopting the children because we depend on it for some medical expenses things just don't get done. I feel like I have to do everything over and over again just so that they can get it right. Here we are so worried about other nations problems while we can not even clean up our own mess.
If you are like us with special needs children in the school system I wounder if you feel as frustrated as we feel dealing with them. At times I feel that all I do is to spend my energy "'fighting" for their right to a good public education. For their right to be respected and treated as an individual full of possibilities.
The child they said had already no hope, our 8 year old this week asked me: "Mom, why did my old mama gave me the name Emmanuel? It will take many years to heal some of the inflicted pain, but children are so resilient!
Well it is already morning, the summer night is over, the heat is still lurking outside my door. I better go for some rest, later this morning there will be more kids having nightmares and jumping in my bed, the alarm will go off and as fast as my arm can stretch I will try to make it stop...at least for five more minutes...ten minutes would be even better!
Today is already another great day!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
And then there were 7...
How do you deal with a 6 year old going on 17?
As if our family was not large enough a few months ago Priscila, our oldest decided to adopt 8 turtles. They are cute, green and all different sizes. Sunday as she counted the little creatures she noticed one was missing. The whole family spent the day looking for it inside the room, under the bed, under the piles of clothe, the little one was no where to be found.
I don't want to frustrate you with the small details of the intense process of interrogations that took place during the next several hours at our house. Monday came and still no sign of "Toots". The questioning continued taking up all my energy and using all my "experience". In the end here are the facts; Didi got angry at Gabe, our 13 year old for something and decided someone had to pay for it. Sadly Toots was the chosen one. How can I blame the children for becoming hard, always interested in self preservation, experts in the art of emotional manipulation? It is a constant battle that keeps us on high alert all the time. A difficult balance, when love has to show up as a constant reminder that Didi is loved so much that we will not let her get away with it!
So now there are 7, little Toots went to turtle "heaven" or wherever you go when you are flushed down the toilet. I was left with an overflowing toilet, a carpet soaking wet, a 19 year old sad for her loss, a 5 year old begging her for forgiveness for something he didn't do and a 6 year old taking the consequence of her mean actions showing no emotions on the outside, ready to play another "role".
With it all, love and faith are our only glue, what keeps us "stuck" to each other ready for the next day, for the next opportunity to prove to them our undying, unconditional love. Their forever family.
To all of you moms out there,
Good night!
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